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actualbpd:

real big trauma mood is crying for 5 minutes once every six months and then going back to repressing every emotion

swarnpert:

*sneezes and shoots my butt plug out of my ass at 55 mph towards my next victim*

bacongreaselipgloss:

johnnyjoestarrelatable:

short girls seeing the “if you want jeans with pockets, just shop in the men’s department!” post

me w/ my new mens pants

toritheestallion:

me at Olive Garden at 11:02 am staring down the elderly people impatiently waiting outside knowing we should’ve opened 2 minutes ago but my boss is in the back cheating on his wife with the girl who makes the salads and he has the key to unlock the doors